Do you still have your period?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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