I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
