smell my finger.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
