I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
