The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
