4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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