4 words: hood of his car
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
