Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
