i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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