Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
