Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
