i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
