he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
