who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
