It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
