I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
