doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
COCAINE IS GR8
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
