belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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