I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
