what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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