i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
