big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Shame - the story of my life.
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