I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
