I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
