I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
