at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
