the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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