Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
