he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We have so much sex to catch up on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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