i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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