I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
