i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
