weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
