you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
