I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
