you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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