I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
