He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
