i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
