If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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