If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
