From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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