Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
