dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
