You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
