Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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