there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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