But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
