That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
