Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
