So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
