I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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