So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
