I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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