No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
